You’ll go through 25 questions. Take your time, you will see how insightful this is!
Question 1. I tend to learn by myself or with external peers and resources, but I can't say I learn a lot in life with my parents, siblings, cousins or our next gen. I learn a lot in life with my parents, siblings, cousins or our next gen through planned or spontaneous discussions, activities and exchanges.
Question 2. In my family, we know a little bit about our past, a few bites and anecdotes here and there. In my family, we share a lot of stories about our ancestors, where we came from, our values and what we experienced.
Question 3. I can draw by heart on a piece of paper one or two generations of my close family with most names. I can draw from memory on a piece of paper several generations and branches of my family with all the names.
Question 4. I cannot recall a word or expression that defines who we are as a family. In my family, we have a living motto or "mot d'ordre" that has a meaning for each of us and that defines us as a group.
Question 5. I seldom find or have opportunities to educate myself together with my parents, siblings, cousins or our next gen. It is part of my life to go to seminars or training programs with my parents, siblings, cousins or our next gen or to organize some educational activities with them whereby we educate ourselves together, which might include inviting guest speakers, listening to experts and debriefing as a group.
Question 1. In a typical week, I regularly see, speak or share thoughts with the same few family members. In a typical week, I tend to have meaningful exchanges with many members among my parents, siblings, cousins, spouses or our next gen.
Question 2. Close family friends are not family to me, they belong to a different class of relationships. I make no distinction between close family friends and family, to me it's all part of the same big family.
Question 3. If we owned something together as a family, I would never involve in-laws, spouses, step children or adopted children in that ownership; it belongs to the blood line. If we owned something together as a family, I would consider that we can share or divide ownership with members of the extended family including in-laws, spouses, step children or adopted children.
Question 4. When we have family dinners or gatherings, I am not comfortable having in-laws or significant others share their points of view about family decisions or orientations. What I enjoy about family dinners and gatherings is that everyone including in-laws and significant others can influence or orient family conversations and some decisions.
Question 5. I make a clear distinction between my direct cousins and second cousins. To me, all my cousins are the same, no matter the generation and branch.
Question 1. I trust very few members of my family, I share confidential information with only a few. I give my trust to a relatively large number of individuals in my family across generations or branches.
Question 2. I share my dreams with people from the outside, not with family. I am afraid they would judge me or not understand or appreciate what I think. I like to share my dreams with my family as it makes them somehow more clear, real and achievable.
Question 3. Very few people in my family trust me. I know from direct sources many family secrets, dreams, concerns or aspirations.
Question 4. I avoid discussing emotional topics with family, it quickly becomes uncomfortable or out of control. I might like or dislike discussing emotional topics with family based on my personality, but I don't feel it is a burden doing so because of the openness and non-judgmental approach we have with one another.
Question 5. There is a sense of disappointment in our family when we think about who's reliable and who can help whom. There is a strong sense of reliability in my family. I always find that in the case of need, we can rely upon one another.
Question 1. I mainly share inside jokes and jargon with people from the outside, but do occasionally so with family. My family and I have a dictionary of inside jokes and jargon that makes it sometimes hard for outsiders to understand us.
Question 2. When I feel lost or under stress, I cope on my own or may reach out to outside people like colleagues, friends or professionals. When I feel lost or under stress, I can quite instinctively turn to some of our family values to find back my balance, or reach out to some family members who will bring back those values to me.
Question 3. I have a very short term view of family, I don't have a very clear picture of our identity and future in a decade or two. When I think of my family, there is a sense of past, present and future that all comes together in a meaningful image.
Question 4. “Limit projects with family”, is my saying. I say: “Multiply projects with family and explore them through various angles to give them more meaning.”
Question 5. We don't have a strong family identity because each of us tend to individually adhere to our in-laws, spouses or close family friends' identity. Our family identity is so strong that it attracts in-laws, spouses or close family friends like a magnet as they strongly identify themselves to our behavior, dreams and ways of life.
Question 1. In my family, we don't address conflicts, we keep everything buried and have triangular conversations about it. In my family, we have this habit of opening up conflicts and addressing them at the root.
Question 2. In my family, we avoid having conflicts. In my family, we experience some minor or serious conflicts.
Question 3. If we ever had a conflict in our family, I feel that we would primarily reach to the outside to find help in addressing or dealing with it. The history of our family is that we would seldom reach to the outside to address and deal with our conflicts, we would tend to discuss them and manage them by ourselves and only go to the outside if necessary.
Question 4. I wish that in my family, we would listen more to one another. We are quite good at listening to one another in my family, it's something I even take pride in.
Question 5. There are only a few family members with whom I can have a real sense of communication, whether it's one-on-one or as a small group. I find there are many opportunities and forums in my family to have some meaningful small groups and large groups discussions.
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Remember that our sense of identity
evolves through time. Take this test once in a
while. Also compare and discuss your answers with
members in your family.
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